so yesterday i met up with my girl friends. one of them was the one i consider as the most naive among others. and we had this kinda weird convo:
she: 'oh so you have that mark too?'
me: 'what mark?'
she: 'that red mark on your upper chest? i thought i was the one who has it.'
me: 'uh-huh. yeah.' *awkward
she: 'but mine's a bit different. mine is white. and they have existed around my boobs for a quiet long time.'
me: 'what??? oh i thought yours were stretch marks. and mine's red.'
other friend: *gave me awkward look* 'oh, yeah theyre stretch marks. the white one.'
me: *speechless*
havent you heard about hickeys?
28.12.10
22.12.10
updates?
soooo its official, i dont get that effing job. seems like my other friends will get it. so yeah, welcome lower standards. live with it, gy, face your destiny. u cant dream higher. because in fact, uve reached nothing. salute!
and, being jobless for more than 5 months changed me so much. ive become sarcastic, negative, a lottttt more sassy, spoiled, annoyed, sensitive...everything negative. u name it then. its like, no more fun. now i know what my brother felt. but its still not the same. he's bachelor in information technology, like its the prestigious major, and will easily applied in real life. and me? international relations? its sucks by the way. unless u became an ambassador, civil servant, lecturer, scientist, embassy worker, or that-hot-girl-who-can-easily-snog-that-hot-guy-over-there-and-the-guy-turns-out-to-be-the-son-of-a-multibillioner, graduating from international relations with zero job experience and zero academic achievement, plus zero brain (just like i did), will left you in despair. thank you, thank you.
soooooooo, now my days are filled with...............nothing. the last 2 months didnt run out as smooth as the other months. no more jobseeking, job fairs, interviews, and tests. the only test ive attended was the one from that drooling beverage company. and im rejected by now. its been 2 weeks and still no call. unless they call me in an hour, im officially rejected.
beside all that job seeking junks, i am now getting dizzy by all the marriage planning stuffs. yeah, im getting married and still jobless. my fiance once said "its alriteeeeee, as days go by, ull find ur perfect job. and your status has no relation with this preparation at all. u dont have to worry, its okay that ure still jobless by now. i dont mind. we'll figure it out later. or u can find temporary job just for now. dont be sad." yeah, u can say that, but i have values and my own ideal standards. i lost my face. mind this: "oh she's so young to be married, but look, shes still jobless. oh it doesnt matter, she has her husband to take care of her." or this "oh look, that jobless idiot could celebrate wedding like this? it must be her husband's money. or her parents'." oh kill me.
and next month will be my 22nd birthday. another birthday. this year i had my birthday with surprise from my boyfriend and my family. i had a great hope coz i was starting my undergraduate thesis and i was earlier than my other friends. a big hope and optimism, i was looking forward to finish my school, come home, get a job as fast as possible, and plan my engagement. what a great birthday. but for next year, i dont know...i just dont have a vision about it.
the only thing that makes me happy is being around my boyfriend. really. i could forget my problems somehow. even just for a second. and because it must be on weekends, i love weekends. i could talk about anything with him, from something serious to rubbish. and i could cry if i want to. like when i was rejected by the ministry, i couldnt cry. my mother prohibited me to cry. but i was so disappointed i would cry. so i cried when he came to my house and saw the announcement. i wish he's here now. but when he left, like my world starts to fall apart again. im alone again. and on monday, i will start mourning myself again.
at first i wanted to make a post about marriage planning thingies, but then i read about some friends' acceptance. and that left me in despair again. so my post turned out like this.
sorry for the inconvenience. i will be back. if my mood and luck brought me.
strawberry flavored oreo.
and, being jobless for more than 5 months changed me so much. ive become sarcastic, negative, a lottttt more sassy, spoiled, annoyed, sensitive...everything negative. u name it then. its like, no more fun. now i know what my brother felt. but its still not the same. he's bachelor in information technology, like its the prestigious major, and will easily applied in real life. and me? international relations? its sucks by the way. unless u became an ambassador, civil servant, lecturer, scientist, embassy worker, or that-hot-girl-who-can-easily-snog-that-hot-guy-over-there-and-the-guy-turns-out-to-be-the-son-of-a-multibillioner, graduating from international relations with zero job experience and zero academic achievement, plus zero brain (just like i did), will left you in despair. thank you, thank you.
soooooooo, now my days are filled with...............nothing. the last 2 months didnt run out as smooth as the other months. no more jobseeking, job fairs, interviews, and tests. the only test ive attended was the one from that drooling beverage company. and im rejected by now. its been 2 weeks and still no call. unless they call me in an hour, im officially rejected.
beside all that job seeking junks, i am now getting dizzy by all the marriage planning stuffs. yeah, im getting married and still jobless. my fiance once said "its alriteeeeee, as days go by, ull find ur perfect job. and your status has no relation with this preparation at all. u dont have to worry, its okay that ure still jobless by now. i dont mind. we'll figure it out later. or u can find temporary job just for now. dont be sad." yeah, u can say that, but i have values and my own ideal standards. i lost my face. mind this: "oh she's so young to be married, but look, shes still jobless. oh it doesnt matter, she has her husband to take care of her." or this "oh look, that jobless idiot could celebrate wedding like this? it must be her husband's money. or her parents'." oh kill me.
and next month will be my 22nd birthday. another birthday. this year i had my birthday with surprise from my boyfriend and my family. i had a great hope coz i was starting my undergraduate thesis and i was earlier than my other friends. a big hope and optimism, i was looking forward to finish my school, come home, get a job as fast as possible, and plan my engagement. what a great birthday. but for next year, i dont know...i just dont have a vision about it.
the only thing that makes me happy is being around my boyfriend. really. i could forget my problems somehow. even just for a second. and because it must be on weekends, i love weekends. i could talk about anything with him, from something serious to rubbish. and i could cry if i want to. like when i was rejected by the ministry, i couldnt cry. my mother prohibited me to cry. but i was so disappointed i would cry. so i cried when he came to my house and saw the announcement. i wish he's here now. but when he left, like my world starts to fall apart again. im alone again. and on monday, i will start mourning myself again.
at first i wanted to make a post about marriage planning thingies, but then i read about some friends' acceptance. and that left me in despair again. so my post turned out like this.
sorry for the inconvenience. i will be back. if my mood and luck brought me.
strawberry flavored oreo.
16.12.10
what?
soooooo now everyone seems to get follow ups and i dont. I DONT. I DONT. I DONT. I DONT. I DONT. I DONT. I DONT. I DONT. (YET). one has an appointment to do hrd interview on monday. and the other has a very quick process of doing fgd and hrd interview in the same day. IN THE SAME DAY. IN THE SAME DAY. IN THE SAME DAY. IN THE SAME DAY, EVERYONE!
what? are u questioning why i kept mourning my life in a blog post for the only-god-counts times? because i have needs and they arent fulfilled until now and the only thing i have for mourning my life is my blog, which is getting boring and making me sick everytime i want to write down something on it but all that crossed my mind was always a not-so-good stories. now i dont even know whats the connection of writing this shit, and my blog, and my mourning time, and my life, and my luck, and my entire world. i just need someplace to blabber all of this shit outta my head.
im sick. im sick. im sick. im sick. im sick. i am so sick. i have all of these things going on inside my head and nothing seems to have even a little help to solve these all. argh. again, i mourn my life. *and now the only person i really need to talk to is going to watch football match. what a move.* *and my laptop keyboards a bit sucks*
getting a follow up ( i think) will be my first move in solving all these things. if i got that effing job, first, i didnt need to stay at home everyday, watching my laptop and getting dizzy after hours, and i will have my own money to splurge, and to be given, and at first row, to finish what ive started. im just sick of having an unsure situation like this. how could i finish this plan if i still jobless like this? hah? somebody answer me please.
argh and planning this thing is also a big brain-taker. exhausting.
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh i dont know what to say anymore!
what? are u questioning why i kept mourning my life in a blog post for the only-god-counts times? because i have needs and they arent fulfilled until now and the only thing i have for mourning my life is my blog, which is getting boring and making me sick everytime i want to write down something on it but all that crossed my mind was always a not-so-good stories. now i dont even know whats the connection of writing this shit, and my blog, and my mourning time, and my life, and my luck, and my entire world. i just need someplace to blabber all of this shit outta my head.
im sick. im sick. im sick. im sick. im sick. i am so sick. i have all of these things going on inside my head and nothing seems to have even a little help to solve these all. argh. again, i mourn my life. *and now the only person i really need to talk to is going to watch football match. what a move.* *and my laptop keyboards a bit sucks*
getting a follow up ( i think) will be my first move in solving all these things. if i got that effing job, first, i didnt need to stay at home everyday, watching my laptop and getting dizzy after hours, and i will have my own money to splurge, and to be given, and at first row, to finish what ive started. im just sick of having an unsure situation like this. how could i finish this plan if i still jobless like this? hah? somebody answer me please.
argh and planning this thing is also a big brain-taker. exhausting.
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh i dont know what to say anymore!
1.12.10
Jatinangor Road Trip plus Welcoming Back My Baby
(this was supposed to be published LAST MONTH. but my internet was a kinda slow for uploading pictures. complete album cud be seen in my facebook page. so this is it.)
so, last week i had to attend an assessment test for Ministry of Domestic Affairs. the assessment test was held in Jatinangor, West Java. u yeah, weird place. jadi ternyata tesnya adalah di IPDN. ahahahaha spoooooookyyyyy. but despite its spooky reputation, the place looked so damn cool. like, its so big! yaiyalah itu asrama dan tempat 'penataran' buat calon-calon camat. gede banget men, ada kali satu kelurahan gedenya. ckckckckck. heran gw, mo jadi camat aja kok ya butuh tempat segede gitu plus latihan se hot itu? no offense yaa, tp menurut gw, kalo cuman buat jadi camat, lo kuliah aja di fisipol, duduk di kelas, adem, nyante2, kerjaan lo bikin paper sama hura2. kayak gw gini lah. ga perlu kan latian militeristik (juga dengan seragam loreng2 lengkapnya) dan suasana yang oh wow nyama2in angkatan aja. yaa itu kan cuman menurut gw, beda dooong sama pikirannya bapak mentri.
jadi hari jumat pagi kemaren kami berangkat ke jatinangor. gw, pur, aji, sm nael berangkat pagi2 jam8an naek pica tercinta. uuu pica. eja akirnya nyusul, indro sm aldi gajadi. sehingga kita ga perlu bersama kijang nya bapak nyoman, cukup dengan pica nya mbake holandari. setelah janjian yang acak adut di lebak bulus (janjian jam7, gw nyampenya setengah7, dan yang laen nyampenya setengah8. bagus kan?), kita mangkateeeeeee langsung dari tol pondok indah. o i was soooooo excited. i looovveeee roadtrip! oiyeh, roadtrip itu cuman istilah gw aja buat jalan2 lewat darat. kemanapun, dengan jarak berapapun. melenceng ya?
hmmm track tol menuju jatinangor lumayan yahud, naek turun jembatan dengan ketinggian lumayan, dan ditambah gerimis berhasil membuat mbake holandari deg2an. soale sempet pas mo nanjak pica nya ga kuaaaat. hhhh serem bok. untungnya kami lebih tenang setelah menemukan rest area dan makan sampe kenyang disono. hasil: ngantuk. hahahahahahaha. tapi lumayan lah ga pada treak2 lagi dijalan. anteng bok. eh tapi pemandangannya bagus loh. menurut aji, jembatannya itu memang membelah bukit, jadi kanan kiri kita lembah2 gtuuuuu bagus ah pokoknyaaa.
selama perjalanan kami cuman ngobrol sambil ngantuk, ketawa2 dikit, poto2....dan komentar2 ga penting tentang apapun yang kami liat di jalan. jalan tol. hahahah. bosenin abis. untung ada pekerja2 PU yang lagi benerin jalan. abis dah kita komentarin tu orang2. oh poto2 itu benar2 untuk merayakan kembalinya baby chibi ke pelukan ku. uooooooo. jadi kemaren abis selese dibenerin, chibi dibawa sama indro. abis itu dari indro diberikannya lah pada nael. nnnaaaahhh dalam perjalanan menuju jatinangor, nael memberikan chibi kembali ke pangkuanku. uuuuu i miss you so much chibiii....dia sudah sehat sekarang. bisa diajak main lagi! horeeeeeee!
setelah sampai dengan selamat di pintu tol cileunyi, kami langsung ribet cari daerahnya tempat hotel kami berdiri. hoh ribet deh bok. keluar tol malah tempat tesnya duluan yang ketemu ahahah yaiyalah. dan hotel kami ternyata ada di dalem unpad. hoh. dan unpad begitu mengerikan. gedeeeeeee banget. pintu masuknya diatas. yang dibawah itu pintu keluar, jadi kami muter2 dah. ckckckck. nemuin unpadnya si gampang, tp kita susah di dalemnya. dan yang paling nyebelin adalah bahwa jalanan di unpad SATU ARAH. thankyou very much for making us sooooo damned confuse.oh dan begonya lagi adalah gw, si co-pilot tolol. gw ga baca tulisan kalo Bale Padjajaran ada di depan FISIP. -_-" stupid me. padahal kan gampang banget tinggal cari fisip ahahahaha. eh ternyata Bale Padjajaran ada 4 biji sodara sodaraaa!!!!! meneketeheeeeee! hah jadi kita sering nemu dead end gtu. ngok. mana udh deket jumatan pula jadi kita panic. untungnya bersamaan dengan azan, kita menemukan bale padjajaran 1 dimana reservasi atas nama mbak pristi sudah bersemayam. hmmmmmm.
Akirnya kami dapet 2 kamar loooo! ini akibat ga bisa campur dalem satu kamar. cw harus dipisah sama cowo. jadilah gw sama pur sekamar dan cowo2 akan homoan di kamar sebelah. kamarnya juga beda, kamar gw totally kamar hotel dengan heater tv dkk, sedangkan kamar cowo2 adalah kamar kosan. jadi adanya bunk bed, meja belajar sama kamar mandi tanpa heater nyehehehehe. eh tapi tetep aja mahalan kamar gw. nyeh. oiyeh pertama kali gw nengok kamar gw, oh gada ac. nyam, perasaan gw udh gaenak. pasti dingin banget deeeeh. tukaaaaaaaannnnnn. untungnya i have my jacket and my best bali sarong with me. hoh im safe.
hari pertama ini, berhubung kita udah kenyang makan pas di rest area, jadi kita ga makan. kita cuman akan jalan2 nyariin kemeja putih sm celana item buat aji. krn aji ga punya 2 item itu...ckckck padahal itu dresscode nyaaaa. jadilah kita akan bepergian ke JATOS. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. what the heck was jatos? JATINANGOR TOWN SQUARE. yeeaaaaaaah kita akan jadi anak gaol jatinangor! pheew. deket banget loh dari unpad. kalo jalannya ga searah, mungkin kita cuman nyebrang doang loh. deketnya abis2an. di jatos lumayan deh kita bisa cepet dapet barang buat aji, soale tenyata emang ada tokonya tuh khusus buat baju2 kerja. ga heboh lah, yang penting besok aji pake baju. lalu setelah itu kita pergi ngemillllll. di fudkort nya loooo. cuman makan takoyaki sihh berhubung ngirit eheheheh *krn belom bayar hotel, cuih*. hebohnya adalah ketika aji sesumbar nanyain potobox, ternyata KITA MENEMUKANNYA DI JATOS! horeeeeeeee jadi kita potobox ahahahahahaha.
lucu kan lucu kan lucu kaaaan? hahahahahahahahaha.dan Jatos menjadi tempat kita buat ngalay bentar dan makan setiap harinya. dikarenakan makanan yang kita temukan disana sungguh ga enak. di jatos juga sih gaenak, tp yaaa gmn lagi...drpd muter2 gada makanan. ckckckckc. susah lah pokoknya. paling enak emang ke indomaret beli cemilan ahahahaha. ehiya di indomaret itu cowo2 ketemu temennya dooong dan menyapa sambil mengasu ngasu. bertanya2 'kowe ngopo ning kene???' yaelaaaah -_____-"
malam harinya kita sampe di hotel daaaaan....mencoba belajar hehehe. lumayan loh ada beberapa soal yang keluar pas kita belajar. jam12 an eja datang...langsung tidur dia soale bsknya kita bakalan pagi2 buta bangun trs berangkat.
SOAL UJIAN BEGITU MEMBUNUH. gilak gilak. ga bisa gw. dan waktunya sungguh sempit. ga ada yang kelar tuh dari geng kita. pur sm eja aja msh ngotot ngerjain walopun udh pada diberesin. gilak dah. dan gw jadi curiga sm cowo di serong kiri dan cw di serong kanan gw. ngerjainnya cepet aja. busetttt. bayar brp ye? hahahahaha tau ah. udah deh gw ga ngarep.
keluar dari IPDN, kita lgsg cari makan, dan segera pulang. ckckckckck. perjalanan menyenangkan walopun dengan ujian yang tidak menyenangkan. hah. hah. hah.
so, last week i had to attend an assessment test for Ministry of Domestic Affairs. the assessment test was held in Jatinangor, West Java. u yeah, weird place. jadi ternyata tesnya adalah di IPDN. ahahahaha spoooooookyyyyy. but despite its spooky reputation, the place looked so damn cool. like, its so big! yaiyalah itu asrama dan tempat 'penataran' buat calon-calon camat. gede banget men, ada kali satu kelurahan gedenya. ckckckckck. heran gw, mo jadi camat aja kok ya butuh tempat segede gitu plus latihan se hot itu? no offense yaa, tp menurut gw, kalo cuman buat jadi camat, lo kuliah aja di fisipol, duduk di kelas, adem, nyante2, kerjaan lo bikin paper sama hura2. kayak gw gini lah. ga perlu kan latian militeristik (juga dengan seragam loreng2 lengkapnya) dan suasana yang oh wow nyama2in angkatan aja. yaa itu kan cuman menurut gw, beda dooong sama pikirannya bapak mentri.
jadi hari jumat pagi kemaren kami berangkat ke jatinangor. gw, pur, aji, sm nael berangkat pagi2 jam8an naek pica tercinta. uuu pica. eja akirnya nyusul, indro sm aldi gajadi. sehingga kita ga perlu bersama kijang nya bapak nyoman, cukup dengan pica nya mbake holandari. setelah janjian yang acak adut di lebak bulus (janjian jam7, gw nyampenya setengah7, dan yang laen nyampenya setengah8. bagus kan?), kita mangkateeeeeee langsung dari tol pondok indah. o i was soooooo excited. i looovveeee roadtrip! oiyeh, roadtrip itu cuman istilah gw aja buat jalan2 lewat darat. kemanapun, dengan jarak berapapun. melenceng ya?
hmmm track tol menuju jatinangor lumayan yahud, naek turun jembatan dengan ketinggian lumayan, dan ditambah gerimis berhasil membuat mbake holandari deg2an. soale sempet pas mo nanjak pica nya ga kuaaaat. hhhh serem bok. untungnya kami lebih tenang setelah menemukan rest area dan makan sampe kenyang disono. hasil: ngantuk. hahahahahahaha. tapi lumayan lah ga pada treak2 lagi dijalan. anteng bok. eh tapi pemandangannya bagus loh. menurut aji, jembatannya itu memang membelah bukit, jadi kanan kiri kita lembah2 gtuuuuu bagus ah pokoknyaaa.
selama perjalanan kami cuman ngobrol sambil ngantuk, ketawa2 dikit, poto2....dan komentar2 ga penting tentang apapun yang kami liat di jalan. jalan tol. hahahah. bosenin abis. untung ada pekerja2 PU yang lagi benerin jalan. abis dah kita komentarin tu orang2. oh poto2 itu benar2 untuk merayakan kembalinya baby chibi ke pelukan ku. uooooooo. jadi kemaren abis selese dibenerin, chibi dibawa sama indro. abis itu dari indro diberikannya lah pada nael. nnnaaaahhh dalam perjalanan menuju jatinangor, nael memberikan chibi kembali ke pangkuanku. uuuuu i miss you so much chibiii....dia sudah sehat sekarang. bisa diajak main lagi! horeeeeeee!
Akirnya kami dapet 2 kamar loooo! ini akibat ga bisa campur dalem satu kamar. cw harus dipisah sama cowo. jadilah gw sama pur sekamar dan cowo2 akan homoan di kamar sebelah. kamarnya juga beda, kamar gw totally kamar hotel dengan heater tv dkk, sedangkan kamar cowo2 adalah kamar kosan. jadi adanya bunk bed, meja belajar sama kamar mandi tanpa heater nyehehehehe. eh tapi tetep aja mahalan kamar gw. nyeh. oiyeh pertama kali gw nengok kamar gw, oh gada ac. nyam, perasaan gw udh gaenak. pasti dingin banget deeeeh. tukaaaaaaaannnnnn. untungnya i have my jacket and my best bali sarong with me. hoh im safe.
hari pertama ini, berhubung kita udah kenyang makan pas di rest area, jadi kita ga makan. kita cuman akan jalan2 nyariin kemeja putih sm celana item buat aji. krn aji ga punya 2 item itu...ckckck padahal itu dresscode nyaaaa. jadilah kita akan bepergian ke JATOS. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. what the heck was jatos? JATINANGOR TOWN SQUARE. yeeaaaaaaah kita akan jadi anak gaol jatinangor! pheew. deket banget loh dari unpad. kalo jalannya ga searah, mungkin kita cuman nyebrang doang loh. deketnya abis2an. di jatos lumayan deh kita bisa cepet dapet barang buat aji, soale tenyata emang ada tokonya tuh khusus buat baju2 kerja. ga heboh lah, yang penting besok aji pake baju. lalu setelah itu kita pergi ngemillllll. di fudkort nya loooo. cuman makan takoyaki sihh berhubung ngirit eheheheh *krn belom bayar hotel, cuih*. hebohnya adalah ketika aji sesumbar nanyain potobox, ternyata KITA MENEMUKANNYA DI JATOS! horeeeeeeee jadi kita potobox ahahahahahaha.
lucu kan lucu kan lucu kaaaan? hahahahahahahahaha.dan Jatos menjadi tempat kita buat ngalay bentar dan makan setiap harinya. dikarenakan makanan yang kita temukan disana sungguh ga enak. di jatos juga sih gaenak, tp yaaa gmn lagi...drpd muter2 gada makanan. ckckckckc. susah lah pokoknya. paling enak emang ke indomaret beli cemilan ahahahaha. ehiya di indomaret itu cowo2 ketemu temennya dooong dan menyapa sambil mengasu ngasu. bertanya2 'kowe ngopo ning kene???' yaelaaaah -_____-"
malam harinya kita sampe di hotel daaaaan....mencoba belajar hehehe. lumayan loh ada beberapa soal yang keluar pas kita belajar. jam12 an eja datang...langsung tidur dia soale bsknya kita bakalan pagi2 buta bangun trs berangkat.
SOAL UJIAN BEGITU MEMBUNUH. gilak gilak. ga bisa gw. dan waktunya sungguh sempit. ga ada yang kelar tuh dari geng kita. pur sm eja aja msh ngotot ngerjain walopun udh pada diberesin. gilak dah. dan gw jadi curiga sm cowo di serong kiri dan cw di serong kanan gw. ngerjainnya cepet aja. busetttt. bayar brp ye? hahahahaha tau ah. udah deh gw ga ngarep.
keluar dari IPDN, kita lgsg cari makan, dan segera pulang. ckckckckck. perjalanan menyenangkan walopun dengan ujian yang tidak menyenangkan. hah. hah. hah.
GW KAPAAAAAAANNNN????
yak, satu lagi teman akan segera keluar dari jurang kenistaan ( i really wish her good luck). and since today is already december, it means that i only have 30 days to go. deadline is approaching. and im dead. tenses are getting heavier everyday and i should be dead by april unless i got a job.
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